The financial problem by PaulT

I have pinched this from another forum:

In case of interest....
A Dummies guide to what went wrong in Europe (and the USA).
Helga is the proprietor of a bar.

She realizes that virtually all of her customers are unemployed
and, as such, can no longer afford to patronize her bar.

To solve this problem, she comes up with a new marketing plan that
allows her customers to drink now, but pay later.

Helga keeps track of the drinks consumed on a ledger (thereby granting
the customers' loans).

Word gets around about Helga's "drink now, pay later" marketing
strategy and, as a result, increasing numbers of customers flood into Helga's bar.

Soon she has the largest sales volume for any bar in town.
By providing her customers freedom from immediate payment demands,
Helga gets no resistance when, at regular intervals, she substantially
increases her prices for wine and beer, the most consumed beverages.
Consequently, Helga's gross sales volume increases massively.

A young and dynamic vice-president at the local bank recognizes that
these customer debts constitute valuable future assets and increases
Helga's borrowing limit.

He sees no reason for any undue concern, since he has the debts of the
unemployed alcoholics as collateral!!!

At the bank's corporate headquarters, expert traders figure a way to
make huge commissions, and transform these customer loans into DRINKBONDS.

These "securities" then are bundled and traded on international
securities markets.

Naive investors don't really understand that the securities being sold to
them as "AA" "Secured Bonds" really are debts of unemployed alcoholics.

Nevertheless, the bond prices continuously climb!!!, and the
securities soon become the hottest-selling items for some of the nation's leading
brokerage houses.

One day, even though the bond prices still are climbing, a risk
manager at the original local bank decides that the time has come to demand
paymenton the debts incurred by the drinkers at Helga's bar. He so informs Helga.

Helga then demands payment from her alcoholic patrons, but being
unemployed alcoholics they cannot pay back their drinking debts.

Since Helga cannot fulfil her loan obligations she is forced into
bankruptcy. The bar closes and Helga's 11 employees lose their jobs.

Overnight, DRINKBOND prices drop by 90%. The collapsed bond asset
value destroys the bank's liquidity and prevents it from issuing new loans,
thus freezing credit and economic activity in the community.

The suppliers of Helga's bar had granted her generous payment
extensions and had invested their firms' pension funds in the BOND securities.

They find they are now faced with having to write off her bad debt and
with losing over 90% of the presumed value of the bonds.

Her wine supplier also claims bankruptcy, closing the doors on a
family business that had endured for three generations, her beer supplier is
taken over by a competitor, who immediately closes the local plant and
lays off 150 workers.
Fortunately though, the bank, the brokerage
houses and their respective executives are saved and bailed out by a
multibillion dollar no-strings attached cash infusion from the government.

The funds required for this bailout are obtained by new taxes levied
on employed, middle-class, non-drinkers who've never been in Helga's bar.

Now do you understand?

"Don't think of them as problems, think of them as opportunities."
"OK, I think I've hit an insurmountable opportunity!"


Posted 14 Dec 2011, 08:54 #1 

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That's it blame the unemployed for all the worlds ills lol !
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Planning is an unnatural process, much better to just get on with things, that way failure comes as a complete surprise instead of being preceeded by a period of worry and doubt

Posted 15 Dec 2011, 18:30 #2 

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It's only the alcoholic unemployed Rob. :)

Posted 15 Dec 2011, 20:15 #3