Politics! by Mick

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Mick
(Site Admin)
John Cleese has it about right:

"The English are feeling the pinch in relation to recent events in Syria and have therefore raised their security level from "Miffed" to "Peeved." Soon, though, security levels may be raised yet again to "Irritated" or even "A Bit Cross." The English have not been "A Bit Cross" since the blitz in 1940 when tea supplies nearly ran out. Terrorists have been re-categorized from "Tiresome" to "A Bloody Nuisance." The last time the British issued a "Bloody Nuisance" warning level was in 1588, when threatened by the Spanish Armada.

The Scots have raised their threat level from "Pissed Off" to "Let's get the Bastards." They don't have any other levels. This is the reason they have been used on the front line of the British army for the last 300 years.

The French government announced yesterday that it has raised its terror alert level from "Run" to "Hide." The only two higher levels in France are "Collaborate" and "Surrender." The rise was precipitated by a recent fire that destroyed France 's white flag factory, effectively paralysing the country's military capability.

Italy has increased the alert level from "Shout Loudly and Excitedly" to "Elaborate Military Posturing." Two more levels remain: "Ineffective Combat Operations" and "Change Sides."

The Germans have increased their alert state from "Disdainful Arrogance" to "Dress in Uniform and Sing Marching Songs." They also have two higher levels: "Invade a Neighbour" and "Lose."

Belgians, on the other hand, are all on holiday as usual; the only threat they are worried about is NATO pulling out of Brussels.

The Spanish are all excited to see their new submarines ready to deploy. These beautifully designed subs have glass bottoms so the new Spanish navy can get a really good look at the old Spanish navy.

Australia, meanwhile, has raised its security level from "No worries" to "She'll be alright, Mate." Two more escalation levels remain: "Crikey! I think we'll need to cancel the barbie this weekend!" and "The barbie is cancelled." So far no situation has ever warranted use of the last final escalation level.

-- John Cleese - British writer, actor and tall person.

Posted 09 Sep 2013, 23:13 #1 


Jumper
On a purely personal note Mick, and in no way a criticism of your taste in alleged humour(!), I wonder if, amongst many other things that with advancing age I am increasingly discovering, I am the only person on the planet who cannot see anything funny in this man’s antics.

His outpourings of late seem entirely designed to provoke either outrage or controversy by wringing the neck of a faded career, reminiscent of a dead parrot. I suspect the ego has landed and being fed by the alimony scraps that litter his study floor.

I am the very last person to pay any notice to the PC brigade but I thought that kind of twaddle long ago passed into nostalgic oblivion. Not because of taste or social attitudes but merely because of its sell-by date. Surely a measure of funniness is in being current. He cuts a rather sad figure.

Posted 10 Sep 2013, 09:04 #2 

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Mick
(Site Admin)

Posted 10 Sep 2013, 11:34 #3 

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Jürgen
Mick wrote:The rise was precipitated by a recent fire that destroyed France 's white flag factory, effectively paralysing the country's military capability.

:mrgreen:
Jürgen

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Posted 10 Sep 2013, 17:07 #4 

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Trebor
another measure of funniness is being funny and i think taken tongue in cheek so as not to offend anyone, it hits the spot, i laughed anyway
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Posted 10 Sep 2013, 17:42 #5 

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Mick
(Site Admin)
Glad to see sense of humour has not been diminished through age. :D :D

Posted 10 Sep 2013, 18:07 #6 

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Bermudan 75
Mick wrote:Glad to see sense of humour has not been diminished through age. :D :D


If it was I would be a right miserable git..... :lol: Previous generations win hands down when it comes to comedy IMHO, Have a listen on Radio 4 Extra to Round The Horn.

Cheers

Mike
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Posted 10 Sep 2013, 19:56 #7 


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