75ZT Community

Does Santa really live in the north pole? Lets look at the evidence.


1. Wears red and white

2. Good at breaking into houses

3. Has loads of electrical goods that nobody can trace

4. Drives an unlicensed vehicle

5. Only does one days work a year

Lapland my arse! He's a Scouse.

Stereotyping?
How unlike you.

I just sent this as a Txt to my Wife and she, alongside her Dudley Ambulance crewmates have been laughing their heads off at it

Nice one Paul

Mick wrote:Stereotyping?
How unlike you.

Based upon experience having been married to one for over 30 years

carlpenn wrote:I just sent this as a Txt to my Wife and she, alongside her Dudley Ambulance crewmates have been laughing their heads off at it

Nice one Paul

Nice to cheer up those on graveyard shift Carl

Very good.

In Rebuttal:

An unwarranted attack on an elderly gentleman with no ‘previous’ and an unblemished record of charity work and unstinting generosity to children everywhere.

The Accused admits to being the holder of the lifetime title of Santa Claus. He majors on animal welfare; feeds and gives regular veterinary attention to all his livestock, including those with unmistakeably Germanic nomenclature, post code unknown, demonstrating inclusivity, multiculturalism and equality together with a noticeable and unprepossessing lack of animosity to all mankind.

He has never been on strike, unlike other transport operatives, and thereby inconveniencing innocent believers.

He is not a drain on public resources - receiving neither salary nor reimbursement (especially expenses or lunches) from public funds. He lives on meagre donations of sherry and mince pies. Oh, and the occasional (non-adulterous) kiss.

He has never ever broken into a dwelling, only entering with the householders knowledge, via a roof top open access and usually with a letter of invitation.

All goods have bar codes and makers details with receipts held at Goods Inwards for the purpose of refund should there be any dissatisfaction.

All vehicles are well maintained, although not used on the highway, and because they have no wheels, brakes are unnecessary.

He has a Gathering that takes a whole year which depends on beneficiaries’ wherewithall (job continuity allowing), with an incredibly narrow ’delivery window’ of just one night.


He never swears in case children hear or read and stop believing.

To conclude: All the charges are vexatious, prejudicial and there is absolutely no evidence of anything ever being observed by any living person or entity. There are no witnesses, no forensic evidence (neither on sherry schooner nor mince pie plate), parcels or door handles. The charges bear all the hallmarks of race hate bigotry and are an affront to all citizens of a well known city with extensive cultural gifts made, without expectation of return, to the rest of the world. The accused makes no claim to being funny, musical, or irrepressively banter worthy. Further, just because some of those citizens sometimes wear a suit it does not mean they are Defendants. No case to answer?