Po wee tree by Zeb

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Now, as self proclaimed encourager of culture it is my not-so-solemn duty to request that people on this here new forum come loaded with gifts...namely nice poems that they have enjoyed and that might be enjoyed by the rest of us....and yes, that means at least one from each of you....so no slacking at the back there!

Right! So I'll start us all off with something festive....in May....seems apt.....

Talking Turkeys
By Benjamin Obadiah Iqbal Zephaniah

Be nice to yu turkeys dis christmas
Cos' turkeys just wanna hav fun
Turkeys are cool, turkeys are wicked
An every turkey has a Mum.
Be nice to yu turkeys dis christmas,
Don't eat it, keep it alive,
It could be yu mate, an not on your plate
Say, Yo! Turkey I'm on your side.
I got lots of friends who are turkeys
An all of dem fear christmas time,
Dey wanna enjoy it, dey say humans destroyed it
An humans are out of dere mind,
Yeah, I got lots of friends who are turkeys
Dey all hav a right to a life,
Not to be caged up an genetically made up
By any farmer an his wife.

Turkeys just wanna play reggae
Turkeys just wanna hip-hop
Can yu imagine a nice young turkey saying,
'I cannot wait for de chop',
Turkeys like getting presents, dey wanna watch christmas TV,
Turkeys hav brains an turkeys feel pain
In many ways like yu an me.

I once knew a turkey called...Turkey
He said "Benji explain to me please,
Who put de turkey in christmas
An what happens to christmas trees?",
I said "I am not too sure turkey
But it's nothing to do wid Christ Mass
Humans get greedy an waste more dan need be
An business men mek loadsa cash'.

Be nice to yu turkey dis christmas
Invite dem indoors fe sum greens
Let dem eat cake an let dem partake
In a plate of organic grown beans,
Be nice to yu turkey dis christmas
An spare dem de cut of de knife,
Join Turkeys United an dey'll be delighted
An yu will mek new friends 'FOR LIFE'.

Posted 31 May 2010, 21:41 #1 

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What is this pang of horrid gloom
so poisonous & choking
oh could it be the fumes of hell
or just the vicar smoking
Geordie Jeans! they're nice & tight especially roond the arse

Posted 31 May 2010, 21:54 #2 

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I like that.... :lol:

Posted 31 May 2010, 22:00 #3 

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The boy stood on the burning deck
a pocket full of crackers...........................
Photobucket = Tossers


Posted 01 Jun 2010, 06:58 #4 

Last edited by takestock on 01 Jun 2010, 21:13, edited 2 times in total.

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There once was a man called Muldoon
who wanted to go to the moon
so off he was sent
but his rocket was bent
and he came back the same afternoon
Geordie Jeans! they're nice & tight especially roond the arse

Posted 01 Jun 2010, 13:53 #5 

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A Summer Stroll with Lewis Carroll

Lewis Carroll, he went a-walking, one blustery summer’s day,
And bumped into the Fluttersnoop, in the merry month of May.
Good Snoop, how do you rumble, in the slimy tove and stew,
And how are all the Moomraths, who used to live with you?

Good Sir, they are slip-sloth, and skoobered to a man,
But seven of them are schlepping in the back of that green van,
The rest they are out slothing, upon the snow and ice,
And doing sneckville sneckabunds, which really aren’t nice.

Snowbuff, snowbuff, the poet mused, sniganda do za roo,
I have to say I wouldn’t have a zot sarong like you.
The Snoop he cried a crystal tear, he sniffed, indeed it’s ronsense,
I’m glad that I bumped into you, you speak such fluent nonsense.

"My lovely car now sold onto a very happy new owner.
I still love this marque and I will still be around, preferred selling to breaking, as a great runner and performer"

Posted 01 Jun 2010, 17:24 #6 

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Chips With Everything......

I am concerned for myopic shoppers,
As our dealer in military antiques
Has a sign in his window which offers
‘Battered codpieces, with (or without) chips’

"My lovely car now sold onto a very happy new owner.
I still love this marque and I will still be around, preferred selling to breaking, as a great runner and performer"

Posted 01 Jun 2010, 17:28 #7 

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Some nice stuff gents.... :clap: :thumbsup:

Posted 06 Jun 2010, 16:37 #8 

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Good constanoon afterble
If you think I an under the Affluence of incohol
you are moatally tistaken
I have only had Tee Martunies

Photobucket = Tossers


Posted 06 Jun 2010, 17:20 #9 

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Remind anyone of anything?

Ah, the temptation
When one can print money
To print it and print it --
As much as one needs!

Ah, for one moment
The outlook is sunny:
Wealth is restored!
The project succeeds!

People are working,
Beginning to spend;
Credit is flowing,
The market is pleased;

Banks once again
Have money to lend;
One has a sense
That the moment was seized.

The problem is nothing
Can never be something:
Money just printed
Was not bought or sold.

There was no exchange
Of one thing for one thing:
Something produced,
Like laughter or gold.

And so we've increased
Our money without
Increasing the value
Of what it can buy.

The outcome must be
Without any doubt,
According to laws
Of demand and supply.

When there is more money
In relation to things,
Prices will rise
In response to demand.

Since just-printed wealth
No exchange for goods brings,
The goods stay the same
As the pounds expand.

Prices rise quickly,
Leaving us nothing
More than we had
When we first began.

And so we learn nothing
Can never be something
The hard way -- again --
As we sink in the sand. - Nicholas Gordon

Upholding a GREAT BRITISH tradition.

Posted 06 Jun 2010, 19:37 #10