Indian memory man by geesmith

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A guy from Liverpool goes on his holidays to Nevada and calls in a bar for a drink. As he goes inside he notices a Red Indian chief sitting in his full warpaint and feathers, so he says to the barman "who's that like?" and the barman says " we call him Indian memory man" adding that the chief knows everything and remembers after a couple of drinks the chap from Liverpool walks across and says "Is zat right then Chiefy, you know everything like?" and the Chief replies "yes, um Chief know everything" so the Liverpool lad says" so where am I from then" and Chief replies "um Knotty Ash" ....

...the lads impresses so he says

"alright then, who won the 1965 cup final?"

"um Liverpool win cup 1965"

" so who did they play then?

"um Leeds United"

"alright then clever lad, what was the score?"

"um 2 - 1"

" woah, you're a bit good you are, so who scored the winner?"

"um Ian Saint John"

"I'm gobsmacked!" ...and he was. He'd just got back home to Knotty Ash and he had already told everyone in the pub about it, all his family and both his mates, been on local radio and T.V. ....well maybe it was just the pub but anyway he was so impressed that he'd promised himself that he would go back someday so he started saving. (I've missed out any reference to dole money there as I think it was in bad taste saying someone would save ALL their dole money...stupid really)(anyway)....

...eventually, sixteen years later he was on his way back to Nevada!
Upon arrival he went straight to the bar. Then having recharged, he came out of that bar and went in the bar where the Chief had been, three towns away, but the Chief was no longer there... and there was a new barman. After spending weeks asking round the bar where the indian memory man had gone he gave up and walking out into the street he looked up. There on the hill overlooking the bar was a secret cave with a sign written in Microsoft Cheyenne Bold symbols. Fortunately the scouser was so off it on sourmash and bootleg that he could actually read the sign... it said "um Indian Memory Chief" he scrambled up.

It was dark inside the cave, and as his slowly eyes adjusted from the early California sunset he could just make out the old Indian by a small fire sitting cross legged in his Ikea hanging chair. Feeling aquainted and elated (and drunk) the Liverpool lad, remembering the old telly shows lifted his hand and mustered his favourite Red Indian greeting ..... "How!".................... the Indian looked at him thoughtfully, then replied...

..."flying header in um six yard box"

(it was the California sunset so it could shine into Nevada at the right sunsetty angle.... before you start)

Posted 15 Jun 2010, 23:06 #1 

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Very good :lol:

Posted 16 Jun 2010, 06:24 #2 

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:clap: :clap:
"Keep Smilin'"

Posted 16 Jun 2010, 07:49 #3 

(I've missed out any reference to dole money there as I think it was in bad taste saying someone would save ALL their dole money...stupid really)

Of course the idea that they would have saved ALL their dole money - they would have spent some on booze and fags :mrgreen:

"Don't think of them as problems, think of them as opportunities."
"OK, I think I've hit an insurmountable opportunity!"


Posted 16 Jun 2010, 13:04 #4