The Blonde Stewardess by takestock

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takestock
Training the blonde

An airline captain was breaking in a very pretty new blonde stewardess. The route they were flying had a stay-over in another city, so upon their arrival, the captain showed the stewardess the best place for airline personnel to eat, shop and stay overnight.

The next morning as the pilot was preparing the crew for the day's route, he noticed the new stewardess was missing. He knew which room she was in at the hotel and called her up wondering what happened to her. She answered the phone, sobbing, and said she couldn't get out of her room.

"You can't get out of your room?" the captain asked, "Why not?"

The stewardess replied, "There are only three doors in here, "she cried," one is the bathroom, one is the closet, and one has a sign on it that says 'Do Not Disturb'!"
Photobucket = Tossers

Dave....

Posted 29 May 2010, 14:54 #1 

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Mick
(Site Admin)
:eyebrows: :window:

Posted 29 May 2010, 18:04 #2 

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SpongeBob
Groooaaaaan..... :| :gmc:

Posted 29 May 2010, 18:46 #3 

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loz1971
Blond jokes eh? OK then

Why does it take so long to build a blond snowman?..........
















Because of the time taken to hollow the head out!! :D :D :D :gmc:
:nurse:ALWAYS BE MORE HOPEFUL!!! Image
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[centre]"Plus It's not a man purse, it's called a satchel...Indiana Jones wears one"[/centre]

Posted 04 Jun 2010, 18:36 #4 


windrush
Oh where oh where does he get them from

Posted 04 Jun 2010, 19:35 #5 


goodlittlewifey
groooooaaaaaaannnnnnnnnnnnnn

Posted 04 Jun 2010, 19:38 #6 

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Simondi
Oh Dear, Oh deary me :4:

Posted 04 Jun 2010, 23:15 #7 

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DerekO
The worst part for me is that I hadn't heard that one before....................so a new reason to groan!

Derek :Scotland:
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Posted 04 Jun 2010, 23:41 #8 

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Pedro
PASSWORD AUDIT

During a recent company password audit, it was found that a blonde secretary
was using the following password:

"MickeyMinniePlutoHueyLouieDeweyDonaldGoofySacramento"

When asked why she had such a long password, she said she was told her password had to be at least 8 characters long and include at least one capital.
Peter

If all else fails......read the instructions.

Posted 07 Jun 2010, 18:54 #9 

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MrB
Pedro wrote:PASSWORD AUDIT

During a recent company password audit, it was found that a blonde secretary
was using the following password:

"MickeyMinniePlutoHueyLouieDeweyDonaldGoofySacramento"

When asked why she had such a long password, she said she was told her password had to be at least 8 characters long and include at least one capital.


OMG my sides hurt....
Chris
Member No. 143
Mods so far: LED sidelights, interior lights and number plate lamps, Rover Xenon Headlights, Kenlowe Fan, Synergy 2 and EGR Bypass

Posted 09 Jun 2010, 20:39 #10 

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Samarkand
Quick, how do I answer my office colleague why I laugh now and then with no apparent reason? (too bad I can't tell it in French - :gmc: )
Majed
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I miss you a lot Samarkand!

Posted 12 Jun 2010, 10:59 #11 

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Chiffon Huileux
How many Blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb?













Two, one to hold the light bulb, the other to spin the ladder... :gmc:
Anyone want to stroke my Chinese Bear?

Posted 12 Jun 2010, 11:03 #12 


hbb
(IT)
A man is walking along the pavement when he comes across a big wooden crate.
Stencilled on the side of the crate it says "Dymanite".
So he kicks it and it goes off BNAG!
This space accidentally left blank/

Posted 14 Jun 2010, 19:41 #13 


RRobson
This blonde decides one day that she is sick and tired of all these blonde jokes and how all blondes are perceived as stupid, so she decides to show her husband that blondes really are smart. While her husband is off at work, she decides that she is going to paint a couple of rooms in the house.

The next day, right after her husband leaves for work, she gets down to the task at hand. Her husband arrives home at 5:30 and smells the distinctive smell of paint. He walks into the living room and finds his wife lying on the floor in a pool of sweat. He notices that she is wearing a ski jacket and a fur coat at the same time.

He goes over and asks her if she is OK. She replies yes. He asks what she is doing. She replies that she wanted to prove to him that not all blonde women are dumb and she wanted to do it by painting the house. He then asks her why she has a ski jacket over her fur coat. She replies that she was reading the directions on the paint can and they said....










FOR BEST RESULTS, PUT ON TWO COATS.
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Posted 14 Jun 2010, 19:57 #14 


PaulT
A
blonde finds herself in serious trouble. Her business has gone bust and
she's in dire financial straits. She's desperate so she decides to ask God for
help.



She
begins to pray.. "God, please help me. I've lost my business and if I
don't get some money, I'm going to lose my house as well. Please let me win the
lottery."





Lottery
night comes, and somebody else wins.



She
again prays... "God, please let me win the lottery! I've lost my business,
my house and I'm going to lose my car as well."



Lottery
night comes and she still has no luck.





Once
again, she prays... "My God, why have you forsaken me? I've lost my
business, my house, and my car.. My children are starving. I don't often
ask You for help, and I've always been a good servant to You.





PLEASE
let me win the lottery just this one time so I can get my life back in
order."



Suddenly
there is a blinding flash of light as the heavens open. The blonde is
overwhelmed by the Voice of God, Himself....
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.





"Sweetheart,
work with Me on this......Buy a ticket."
Paul

That apart Mrs Lincoln, did you enjoy the play

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Posted 15 Jun 2010, 12:56 #15 

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Samarkand
I suggest changing the title of this thread to Blond Jokes...

Two blonds went to London and took a double deck bus. The first stood somewhere in the lower deck near the driver cabin and the second sat somewhere on the upper deck. The first called her friend and said: Wow the driver was going 60 mph, how much are you doing up there?
The second replied: I don't know our driver did not come over yet! :scared:
Majed
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I miss you a lot Samarkand!

Posted 15 Jun 2010, 14:04 #16 

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Pedro
Brunette Joke
A young brunette goes into the doctor's office and says that her body hurts wherever she touches it.
"Impossible," says the doctor. "Show me."
She takes her finger and pushes her elbow and screams in agony. She pushes her knee and screams, pushes her ankle and screams and so on it goes.
The doctor says, "You're not really a brunette are you?"
She says, "No, I'm really a blonde."
"I thought so," he says. "Your finger is broken."
Peter

If all else fails......read the instructions.

Posted 18 Jun 2010, 09:04 #17 


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