No Nursing Home for Me by woolleysox


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woolleysox
NO NURSING HOME FOR me!!!




No nursing home for us. We'll be checking into a Holiday Inn!


With the average cost for a nursing home care costing £188.00 per day, there is a better way when we get old and too feeble.
I've already checked on reservations at the Holiday Inn.


For a combined long term stay discount and senior discount, it's £59.23 per night.

Breakfast is included, and some have happy hours in the afternoon.


That leaves £128.77 a day for lunch and dinner in any restaurant we want, or room service, laundry, gratuities and special TV movies.


Plus, they provide a spa, swimming pool, a workout room, a lounge and washer-dryer, etc.


Most have free toothpaste and razors, and all have free shampoo and soap.
£5 worth of tips a day you'll have the entire staff scrambling to help you.



They treat you like a customer, not a patient.



There's a bus stop out front, and seniors ride free.


For a change of scenery, take the airport shuttle bus and eat at one of the nice restaurants there.



While you're at the airport, fly somewhere. Otherwise, the cash keeps building up.




It takes months to get into decent nursing homes. Holiday Inn will take your reservation today.



And you're not stuck in one place forever -- you can move from Inn to Inn, or even from city to city.



Want to see Scotland? They have Holiday Inn there too.



TV broken? Light bulbs need changing? Need a mattress replaced? No problem.. They fix everything, and apologize for the inconvenience.




The Inn has a night security person and daily room service. The maid checks to see if you are ok. If not, they'll call an ambulance . . . or the undertaker.



If you fall and break a hip, NHS will pay for the hip, and Holiday Inn will upgrade you to a suite for the rest of your life.








And no worries about visits from family. They will always be glad to find you, and probably check in for a few days mini-vacation.



The grandkids can use the pool.

What more could I ask for?

So, when I reach that golden age, I'll face it with a grin.

AIDS WARNING!






To all of you approaching 50 or have REACHED 50 and past, this email is especially for you......

SENIOR CITIZENS
ARE THE NATION'S LEADING CARRIERS OF AIDS!

HEARING AIDS

BAND AIDS

ROLL AIDS

WALKING AIDS

MEDICAL AIDS

GOVERNMENT AIDS

MOST OF ALL,

MONETARY AID TO THEIR KIDS!

Not forgetting HIV

(Hair is Vanishing)



I'm only sending this to my 'old' friends.

I love to see you smile.
Woolleysox


midlandsnanomeets.co.uk

Posted 29 Apr 2014, 11:18 #1 

User avatar
ceedy
Cruises can work out cheaper too . and more exciting ??
Got one for Me , Then one for her, and now a big one for me again, All BLOO! Well saves on the touch up paint, Now Number one son's Spoilt it all by getting a Firefrost 1.8T

Posted 29 Apr 2014, 14:49 #2 

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Borg Warner
Where do I sign??

Gary M.

Posted 29 Apr 2014, 16:11 #3 


PaulT
Surely, prison is the way to go, it is free - you can even sue and get compensation because a prison officer did not apologise to you for losing your Barbie doll.
Paul

That apart Mrs Lincoln, did you enjoy the play

Image

Posted 29 Apr 2014, 16:58 #4 


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