ENGLAND deliberately lost the Six Nations to Wales as part of a plan to boost the smaller country's morale, it has emerged.
Even better than being in a choir
Wales's victory caused an upsurge in national pride for a country embattled by unemployment, inhospitable weather and the literary trend for shit books about talking dragons.
However excessive gloating by Wales fans caused England sources to reveal that they weren't actually trying.
Coach Stuart Lancaster said: "I had spoken with David Cameron who said it was time we did something nice for the Welsh, apart from filming Doctor Who there.
"He said he wanted the people of Wales to feel like they lived in a proper country and not just a Tolkeinesque tourist attraction.
"He showed me some pictures of Welsh children, their tears had made clean streaks on their coal-smeared little faces. I knew then we had to do something."
Television footage of the match has since revealed England players deliberately fumbling the ball while using the phrase "oops, butterfingers".
David Cameron confirmed: "We just wanted the Welsh to feel special for once.
"Unfortunately they got a bit carried away and ruined it. I hope they won't be too devastated that their moment of glory was a pity-inspired travesty.
"I think Wales is great. I had some lamb from there once, it was very juicy."